Hospice - My First Visit

Today was my first visit to my first patient for hospice. What a blessing! The patient was upbeat today and wanted to talk. The patient talked for 2 of the 3 hours I was there. We covered talk about family, children, flowers and God's blessings. Some friends and family have wondered if I was ready to be a hospice volunteer. Yes, I'm ready. Today was a wonderful day. I shared myself with someone who needed a new refreshing face to talk with. Although a hospice patient is terminally ill, they are still living. Their road to death is marked whereas ours is not. They still love, feel, remember, and want the best for their family and friends. They are who they have always been and will be until they take their last breathe.

I'm looking forward to my next visit.

Thinking of Brent

Brent has been in the forefront of my mind everyday since he died May 05, 2007. He's the first thing that comes to mind when I wake in the morning and my last thought at night before I drift off to sleep. Thoughts of him in all situations were fresh in my memory. Watching TV commercials or movies brought back conversations we'd had. I remembered where and what we were doing when we saw a particular movie, actors he liked and didn't like. When I was cooking dinner I would think about whether or not he would have enjoyed the meal. Listening to bluegrass songs filled my eyes with tears remembering how hard he worked to learn to play the mandolin and to learn to sing harmony. The last five years of his life playing bluegrass were his happiest.

Last Sunday I was cleaning house preparing for the Mother's Dinner on Tuesday evening. I was busy most of the day. Late afternoon I realized that I hadn't thought of him. I questioned if he were my first thought when I woke that morning. I couldn't remember. I wasn't upset but realized he was not in the forefront of my mind. It was as if the first folder in the filing cabinet labeled BRENT, had been moved back one space. Now, I realize that Brent is being pushed to the back of my mind. The saddest that I have felt, the clear, fresh memories of him lying in the hospital bed fighting for his life, are beginning to go away. For a while I wanted to look at the photos I took of him while he was at Johns Hopkins. Looking at photos of him from years ago left me brooding and forlorn. Now, those photos bring immense joy of the 26 years we had together.

When meeting new people I so want to be able to "show him off". He's not here for me to do that. But, I can bring honor to his memory and hopefully show him off through my blog. Not to make him a martyr or to put him on a pedestal, but to show how one man can love God, his wife, family, friends and how much he enjoyed living.

Hospice

Hospice is health-care for the terminally ill that emphasizes pain control and emotional support for the patient and family. During my father's last days hospice was there to provide support for me and my family. I decided that after Daddy's death and when Brent was cured of his leukemia I would volunteer for hospice. After Brent's death I waited a while longer. On Saturday, February 16th I went to an all day hospice training. I received a call the following Thursday from hospice telling me I had my first patient if I was ready. Yes, I am ready. I will make my first visit as a hospice volunteer this coming Monday. I'm looking forward to making a difference for a family in this their greatest time of need. I will not be able to give any information about the patient, but I will be able to share how the experience is for me.

Mother's Dinner

When I started homeschooling in 1989 I had a luncheon for homeschooling mothers. I had an ulterior motive in mind. I had lots of questions about homeschooling and thought the best way to have answers were straight from the mouths of those who were already doing it. That first luncheon in August of 1989 begin a tradition that has lasted all these years later. After the first luncheon I decided to have dinner in the evening. For three years the ladies came to our 600 sq.ft. duplex once a month to encourage one another, have a nice dinner and discuss homeschooling ideas. In August of 1992 I decided to take a break. I was pregnant with Samuel and wanted to slow down a little. The ladies begin to host the dinners in their homes. I was going to get back to having dinner at my house in a few months. In October of 1992 my mother had a brain aneurysm. She was in the hospital in ICU for 4 months before she died in February of 1993. My heart wasn't in it anymore. I felt a strong need to minister to my family, to make them the center of my attention. Brent and I bought our first house in 1993 and I had a Mother's Dinner in November of 1993. The ladies surprised me with a housewarming. It was so special. It was my last dinner for a long, long time.

The ladies continued to have the dinners in their homes and started many other traditions. Once a year they have a slumber party and stay all night talking and eating. Another tradition is during February. One or two of the ladies are chosen to be "Princesses for the Night". They are treated royally the whole night and given special gifts. (2nd photo).

After Brent's death I felt the need to have people around me. I've had three Mother's Dinners, one in July, one in October, and in this month of February. What a blessing. I'm able to share my gifts of service and hospitality. Our topic this month was organizing. I admitted to the ladies that I was a hoarder, clutterer and a messie! My sister, Grace, tells me that admitting there is a problem helps to overcome the problem! It was a great discussion. I gave away door prizes. #3-an organizing book, #2-I would come and clean their refrigerator, and the #1-Grand prize, 8 hours of my time to help them organize a room in their home.

To help encourage the ladies I will be posting some before and after photos of my cluttered and clutter FREE, organized spaces.

P.S. I was able to clear up one fact about those earlier Mother's Dinners. Some of the ladies did have to sit on wheat buckets, NOT bales of hay! :)

Valentine's Day Breakfast

Abigail, my nine year old, made me an omelet for breakfast. She did a great job! She had a balloon for me, a card she had made and housecleaning coupons too! I knew she was up to something when she ask the night before about how do you make an omelet, how do you spell vacuum and some other little hints! When Brent and I decided to have another child we talked about what a blessing she would be in our old age! I was 44 when I had her. She has been a real blessing these past months since Brent's death. She is happy and cheerful most of the time, is always busy with this and that and full of questions about everything. My other two children, Samuel and Anna have done special things for me on special occasions. When your children give of themselves it is so rewarding. I am so blessed to have my children, each special in their own way.

Jammin' in the Forest

Most everyone was watching or listening to the Memphis Tigers and Tennessee Vols play basketball tonight. The Tigers are #1 and the Vols #2. The Tigers lost 66 -62.

But, for a few, tonight was the first of hopefully many more bluegrass pickin's at our house. I think I'll call it, "Jammin' in the Forest". Pickers Tony Butler banjo, Mike Busby guitar and Harry Mclellan mandolin, came out and played for a couple of hours. Samuel joined them on the banjo. I had a big pot of White Chili and some cornbread, coffee and tea.

Samuel was over in the corner pickin'. Samuel is photo shy so I don't usually get a photo of him. You can hear him in the background pickin' banjo in the video clip above.

I've been wanting to have a pickin' at the house for a long time. There is always something going on in the world of bluegrass in our area. My decision was to just jump on in there and start. There is nothing quite like live bluegrass music to stir the soul, bring joy and fellowship. It's also a great way to help motivate me to keep my house clean and to have supper early! I'm looking forward to next Saturday night!

Jessie Playing Fiddle

My friend Jessie playing a little bluegrass fiddle. Jessie is a sweet girl and also plays classical violin. Jessie sometimes plays fiddle for the bluegrass band, Sorghum Hill, which was the last band Brent played with before his death. Jessie and another friend Becky, who also plays fiddle, played twin fiddles at Brent's funeral. They played Ashokan's Farewell so beautifully. Samuel, Jessie and Tim(who plays banjo for Sorghum Hill) will play a banquet being held at the Peabody Hotel in Memphis. They were having a practice session.

Our Friend Karen Has Dinner With Us

Tuesday night our friend, Karen, came and ate dinner with us. We all enjoyed her visit. Karen and my husband, Brent, used to pick bluegrass together and also played in a bluegrass band together. We had a flatiron steak, baked sweet potatoes, Lima beans and a salad. We had a great time visiting. We'll have to do it again soon.

Lunch With Liz

Lunch with a friend makes for a pleasant afternoon. I invited my friend, Liz, for lunch on Friday. I wanted to make a quiche but didn't have all the ingredients for it. Oh well, Pot Roast is just as good, especially with cornbread and some spinach. Liz enjoys chocolate so my mother's brownie recipe was the perfect thing to fix. Abigail wanted to participate in the preparation of lunch and decided to make a topping for the brownies. She mixed bananas, chocolate syrup and peanut butter together. It was a nice topping. We sat at the kitchen table awhile and then moved into the living room. We talked about this and that. We encouraged one another and were blessed by each other.

First Buttercup

The first buttercup of the year always brings me joy and hope and is always a surprise. I found this one on Monday, February 4th. My mother planted these years ago. They've been there as long as I can remember. Sometimes the real surprise is when they bloom in January. My daughter, Anna, likes to see them in March which is her birth month. Buttercups are the jewel of late winter and hope for sunny days ahead.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Tuesday, January 29, 2008 was a very windy day! This was the week before the tornado weather we experienced here in the Mid-South on Tuesday, February 05, 2008.

Twilight

The photo above shows you what I saw most of the days I was in Baltimore. From my bedroom window at the apartment I could look out over the harbor at sunset. The sky would be varying shades of pink, orange or gray. I would stand and watch the light of the sun fade into darkness. My favorite time was at twilight where you could still see the cars, buildings and ships clearly. The lights on the cars, ships and buildings were beginning to light up. You could see their reflections against the water and the streets. I enjoyed that scene day after day knowing it was my gift from God.

After Brent died I could reminisce about the previous year and bring to mind he was at work, talking to his friends on the phone, working in the yard, playing his mandolin, or getting ready for a band performance. Those memories brought joy to my heart. Now, as I remember the previous year the memories coming to my mind are heartbreaking. I think of how hard he was working to over come his leukemia. He was brave and didn't complain. He was fighting for his life. A life he knew was given to him by God, to be used for His glory. He was ready to leave this world if that's what God wanted. He was comfortable with that. His tears came realizing that death meant he was leaving me and the kids behind. When we were in the hospital room telling him goodbye his words of comfort to us were that "everything is going to be okay". His words were a source of consolation, and hope for our future. This was our twilight with Brent.

Breaking Boards

Tonight was my third Tae Kwon Do class. I was able to break a board with an overhead hammer fist. Oh, I kid you not. When it was my turn I looked at Mrs. Wiggins, our instructor, and said, "Are you sure?" My first thought was, "I hope I don't hurt my hand or I will not be able to cook dinner". I took my practice turn and then when I was ready I yelled and hit that board. It broke in half. One of the mother's sitting on the side lines told me my eyes were open wide in disbelief that I had actually broken the board. Wow! I really couldn't believe that I had done it. My hand was stinging afterwards, but it didn't last long.

Abigail had her turn before me. She had also picked the overhead hammer fist. She tried twice on one board. Mrs. Wiggins found her a smaller board and she was able to break it with one try.

Taking Tae Kwon Do has renewed my knowledge of what my body is capable of. It still works! Mentally, I feel 20 lbs lighter. I am even able to crawl out of bed the next day. I look forward to class and seeing what my body can do.