Our Friend Karen Has Dinner With Us

Tuesday night our friend, Karen, came and ate dinner with us. We all enjoyed her visit. Karen and my husband, Brent, used to pick bluegrass together and also played in a bluegrass band together. We had a flatiron steak, baked sweet potatoes, Lima beans and a salad. We had a great time visiting. We'll have to do it again soon.

Lunch With Liz

Lunch with a friend makes for a pleasant afternoon. I invited my friend, Liz, for lunch on Friday. I wanted to make a quiche but didn't have all the ingredients for it. Oh well, Pot Roast is just as good, especially with cornbread and some spinach. Liz enjoys chocolate so my mother's brownie recipe was the perfect thing to fix. Abigail wanted to participate in the preparation of lunch and decided to make a topping for the brownies. She mixed bananas, chocolate syrup and peanut butter together. It was a nice topping. We sat at the kitchen table awhile and then moved into the living room. We talked about this and that. We encouraged one another and were blessed by each other.

First Buttercup

The first buttercup of the year always brings me joy and hope and is always a surprise. I found this one on Monday, February 4th. My mother planted these years ago. They've been there as long as I can remember. Sometimes the real surprise is when they bloom in January. My daughter, Anna, likes to see them in March which is her birth month. Buttercups are the jewel of late winter and hope for sunny days ahead.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Tuesday, January 29, 2008 was a very windy day! This was the week before the tornado weather we experienced here in the Mid-South on Tuesday, February 05, 2008.

Twilight

The photo above shows you what I saw most of the days I was in Baltimore. From my bedroom window at the apartment I could look out over the harbor at sunset. The sky would be varying shades of pink, orange or gray. I would stand and watch the light of the sun fade into darkness. My favorite time was at twilight where you could still see the cars, buildings and ships clearly. The lights on the cars, ships and buildings were beginning to light up. You could see their reflections against the water and the streets. I enjoyed that scene day after day knowing it was my gift from God.

After Brent died I could reminisce about the previous year and bring to mind he was at work, talking to his friends on the phone, working in the yard, playing his mandolin, or getting ready for a band performance. Those memories brought joy to my heart. Now, as I remember the previous year the memories coming to my mind are heartbreaking. I think of how hard he was working to over come his leukemia. He was brave and didn't complain. He was fighting for his life. A life he knew was given to him by God, to be used for His glory. He was ready to leave this world if that's what God wanted. He was comfortable with that. His tears came realizing that death meant he was leaving me and the kids behind. When we were in the hospital room telling him goodbye his words of comfort to us were that "everything is going to be okay". His words were a source of consolation, and hope for our future. This was our twilight with Brent.

Breaking Boards

Tonight was my third Tae Kwon Do class. I was able to break a board with an overhead hammer fist. Oh, I kid you not. When it was my turn I looked at Mrs. Wiggins, our instructor, and said, "Are you sure?" My first thought was, "I hope I don't hurt my hand or I will not be able to cook dinner". I took my practice turn and then when I was ready I yelled and hit that board. It broke in half. One of the mother's sitting on the side lines told me my eyes were open wide in disbelief that I had actually broken the board. Wow! I really couldn't believe that I had done it. My hand was stinging afterwards, but it didn't last long.

Abigail had her turn before me. She had also picked the overhead hammer fist. She tried twice on one board. Mrs. Wiggins found her a smaller board and she was able to break it with one try.

Taking Tae Kwon Do has renewed my knowledge of what my body is capable of. It still works! Mentally, I feel 20 lbs lighter. I am even able to crawl out of bed the next day. I look forward to class and seeing what my body can do.

Nice Sunday

We were stopped at a 4 way stop and there was no traffic behind me, so I snapped this shot of the sunset over the cotton field.

We had a nice Sunday dinner with my in-laws. They have us over about once a month. It's a great time to catch up on what's going on with our families. On our way home we stopped by Guitar Center so Sam could check out some instruments. He likes to window shop. Abigail likes to crochet and wanted to stop in at Hobby Lobby and check out the yarn. They were closed. We headed to Blockbuster for some movies. It had been so long since I've rented movies. I did not have my card with me, but of course, they were able to find me in their system.

As we were headed down the highway we noticed our friends Jeannie and Dianna at the gas station. I turned the truck around hoping to catch them, but they were long gone. We stopped at several fast food joints thinking we could find them, but to no avail.

Oh life is so exciting! Well, it is if you pretend you are on a mission of some kind!

Tae Kwon Do

Yes, that is a photo of me in a Tae Kwon Do outfit! My TKD outfit. Thursday was my first class. There were so many reasons I decided to take classes. The first, was the Friday afternoon there were two young men walking down my long driveway. I had no idea who they were. Why were they walking down my driveway? They had run off the road and wanted to know if I could help them. I told them I could not help them, but would call a wrecker for them. The wrecker service was not going to come out because they did not know under what circumstances they had run off the road. The young men were going to have to call. I drove up the driveway and found a neighbor down the road had stopped to help. All the years I was married to Brent I was secure in knowing he was my protector. It was a false sense of protection. Driving to the grocery store or to a friend's house anything could have happened to me. Those young men came at time Brent would have been at work. But, the reality of my life is that Brent is no longer here to love and protect me and the children. Now, I must make all the decisions for us.

Secondly, every week I take Abigail to Tae Kwon Do and sit on the sidelines and watch her kick, punch and spar. I go home and do no exercise. I finally figured out that since I'm already taking Abigail three times a week I might as well take classes too. I do not have to make arrangements to go to a gym or Curves for Women and wonder how I am going to fit it all in. I'm already there! No extra gas to spend and I get my classes half price.

I filled out the required form for Tae Kwon Do. There was a question on the form, "What do you expect to get out of Tae Kwon Do?" My answer was exercise, self confidence and self defense.

Excitement, sadness and concern filled my mind as I drove to my first class. Tears came to my eyes realizing that I would not have even considered taking the class if Brent were still here. Oh, the embarrassment of it all! I had to order the largest outfit, I'm out of shape, people are going to laugh at me, will I be able to get up and down off the floor for those push ups, will my memory be adequate to remember the student oath, and what part of my body is going to hurt?????? My bluegrassin' friends can relate to my first class. Do you remember your first jam? Everybody knew what they were doing. Each instrument plays at a different time and yet it all goes together to get that sound. Each picker knows when it comes their time to take their break, the singers know how to harmonize and you are standing in the background just trying to keep time. Well, everybody in the class knew their pattern, knew the right vocal responses to the instructors, and they knew how to kick and punch. I had to jump right in and start in the middle. The instructor, Mr. Corliss a second degree black belt, wasted no time having us stretch, ouch. We even had to do some push ups. Thank goodness there was no one behind me! After awhile, Mr. Corliss, had the lower belts go in the back to work on our kicks. Thankfully, it was an adult class. The average adult age, maybe 20. There was one adult man in the class with his two young sons and nephew. Chris was his name. He took the time to help me get started on my pattern. He and his sons and nephew were white belts like me. All these past seven months of watching Abigail made me think it was not so hard to do. Trying to balance on one leg, lift the other one and kick and then reverse punch is much for this 53 year old. I am the oldest one taking classes. The runner up is five years younger than me. I expected to be very sore the next day, but to my surprise I was not. Hopefully, I will catch on pretty quick. I guess I'll have to get a poster of Chuck Norris, 8th degree black belt!

Cloudy Days Are Beautiful Too

Cold winter days are full of beauty. There is such a contrast between the gray sky and dark brown trunks of the trees. There is always a little green somewhere.

Nandina

Nandina domestica, Heavenly Bamboo

These are great plants for home gardens. The photo above is of the nandina my mother planted many years ago. They are green all year and in the winter they have shades of red and even bronze in them. Of course, there are the beautiful red clusters of berries. I use them all through the year for table settings. My grandmother, Reba, use to say you could always find something from the yard/garden to use as a table setting.

Felines

Momma, Mrs. Bigglesworth, and one of her kittens soaking up the sun.

Lisa Ray, fiddler and Kenny Cantrell, banjo of Cedar Hill.

On Saturday night, January 12, 2008 my friend Roseann and I drove to Jonesboro, AR for the 25th Annual United Cerebral Palsy Bluegrass Benefit Show presented by The Northeast Arkansas Bluegrass Association. The entertainment lineup was wonderful. Living Grace from Central Arkansas, Crowley's Ridge Cloggers, UCP Superstar: Briana Hackworth, Cedar Hill from Missouri, and the Keisler Brothers from Northeast Arkansas. The benefit raised over $3600.00.

Memories Bring Sadness and Joy

This photo of Brent and Samuel was taken in February 1994. Samuel liked to be involved in everything Brent was doing.

Brent. I think about him everyday. I watch a movie and remember the first time we saw it together. Commercials bring back memories of our making fun of them, as well as the food I prepare. He could pick the best midnight snacks. I catch myself speaking of him in the present tense. Do I say "my" children or "our" children? He "liked" not he "likes" or some such phrase comes to mind. For several months after his death all I could see were imagines of him his hospital room. Now, my mind goes to happy and pleasant thoughts of him. Sadness washes over me and makes me feel so alone. Alone? Oh, I'm not alone. My children are always near and there are friends to call. Thankfully, I am an optimistic person and the sadness does not stay for long.

Last Sunday the kids and I went to a Sorghum Hill band practice. Tim, the banjo player was ill and they asked Samuel to come and play banjo. It was a great afternoon. Phil, lead singer and guitar player, had written three songs inspired by Brent. He sang them for me. Oh, I cried and it felt so good to cry. The songs are beautiful. The bands latest CD has been dedicated to Brent. One dollar for each CD sold will be donated to the Leukemia Society. They loved Brent so much and miss him.