A Little Change Is A Good Thing

I took the truck to the dealership this morning. I had received a notice from Ford about a recall on the cam sensor. The sensor was causing trucks to stop in their tracks. Just stop right where you were. This first happened to us on our way back from Nashville in February 2006. We were less than 50 miles outside of Nashville. We had the truck towed all the way home. Since then it has happened 3 other times. Oh, I'm so glad they figured that one out!

I left the dealership with the intention of driving straight home. I looked to the left and saw Scottie's, a very popular hair salon in town. I decided to stop. I had just about had it with my hair. I sat looking in all the books for the perfect hairstyle. I couldn't decide and figured I would leave it to the experts. I had told Mary, the young lady at the appointment desk I would take the first available hair dresser. Finally, it was my turn. Mary had me come over for the shampoo. Oh my! It felt so wonderful to have someone shampoo my hair. I didn't want to get up. She had me sit at Scottie's station. He was really wonderful. He told me what he was going to do and why he was doing it. I love the cut and it feels great on my head. It shows off my gray nicely. The before photos were taken by another customer and the after photos by Scottie.

Another Emotional Day

Monday was another emotional day. I was teary eyed all day. What's up with that? Were my hormones playing tricks on me? I seemed to have a tissue in my hand all day.

A good nights sleep and a bright morning have cleared my mind. I do believe I was feeling sorry for myself. I had dreaded Monday because I was going to have to take care of something that Brent would have taken care of. Last Tuesday Samuel and I were set to mow the yard and weed eat. Samuel showed me how to put the string on the weed eater. By the way that weed eater is a large heavy Stihl that Brent used for his lawn business. It's so heavy and I have to really push hard on the handle to make it go. Samuel got on the mower and it would not start. It was deader that a door nail. I told Samuel just to go on in the house. I started weed eating. I was struggling with that monster of a weed eater, but I was destroying those weeds. It ran out of fuel. I put some more in it and started again. Low and behold, the weeder eater engine was running but it was turning on the end. I went and got Samuel so he could fix it. I had broken the handle! Argh! I guess you might be wondering why I just didn't have Samuel weed eat. I like to weed eat, I want to learn to be the master of the weed eater, and I need to learn all about how to take care of my property.

I let the whole week go by while I pondered on what I wanted to do. I finally decided to take the mower battery and the weed eater to Small Engines in town. I left the weed eater to be fixed and they were out of batteries so I went to the auto store. There was some rain yesterday which made me realize I needed new windshield wipers. The last time I bought a windshield wiper I couldn't figure out how it went on there. I taped it on with black electrical tape! It worked. I asked the guy at the auto store if he would put them on for me 'cause I didn't know how to do it. He was happy to do it. I told him my husband had passed away and that it used to take care of those things. He told me he understood. His father had passed away and his mother was in the same position. So, things should be looking better. The weed eater is being fixed, I have a new battery for the mower and the new windshield wipers are great.

I had some more time before Tae Kwon Do so I decided to stop by the Ford dealership. There was a recall on the cam sensor for my make and model of truck. They told me I could come in anytime. I also wanted to have the alarm removed from the truck. It's a pain and doesn't work properly. My remote is about shot and I wonder where will I be when it finally gives out. I put a new battery in it, but that didn't solve the problem.

Brent took care of the outside things including the yard, maintenance of the mower and truck, trimming weeds and trees etc., etc., etc. Yesterday I realized how much I missed him. I don't like taking care of those things. I want to get in the truck and go where I need to go and not worry about whether or not it needs fixin'. Well, that's just to bad Helen! Pull yourself together and just get it done. Quit feeling sorry for yourself.

I'm not going cross country in a covered wagon, trying to build a new life in a new territory on the prairie, and plowing the fields for sustenance. But, I do feel like a pioneer in my little world. I have 22 acres that I must think about. The 2000 square feet or so I live in is not all that I must take care of. I'm not about to give up what's been in my family for over 60 years. I have friends, male and female, who have never married. They are doing just fine. I have to get over the fact that I must now take care of things that Brent used to take care of. There is more to my life than cooking, cleaning, blogging, photography, TV and genealogy. I'm acting like a spoiled brat. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. He does hear the cries of the widow.

My mind keeps remembering what Mr. Payne of Small Engines told me yesterday. "Come on up here and I'll have Lisa take you in the back and show you how to work on your mower and weed eater". His daughter was a hairdresser. She wasn't earning enough money so she ask her Dad if he would teach her about small engines. She's been doing it for 20 years. I'd be a fool not to take advantage of that offer.

Okay, I feel better now. Thank you for reading. I feel encouraged and hope that you do too. Ladies, if your husband takes the time to show you how to do something, pay attention and thank him for showing you how. Shame on me for letting things go in one ear and out the other!

Loss of Loved Ones

Sunday I went to the viewing for the son of one of my bluegrassin' friends. I've been to several funerals and viewings since Brent's death. On the drive from home to the funeral I always contemplate the losses I have experienced and how their lives affected mine. Today was harder than most. A young man of only 34, Bobby was a son, brother, husband, and father. My heart is burdened for his wife and two young sons. I wish I could take away their pain and sorrow, but know that only God's grace and the love and support from their family and friends will see them through the tough weeks and months ahead.

Growing up in a Southern Baptist Church funerals were a common occurrence. I attended many funerals. But, it was not until the death of my maternal grandmother, Reba Sally Shirley Berry, that I felt a personal loss. I was only 12 and was at the doctor's office when the call came that she had died. I cried and let out all my tears that day. Twelve years later, in 1978, my maternal grandfather, Woodall O'Kuykendall Berry, died. He had lived with us 10 years and the last year of his life I didn't visit. He didn't know anyone and was curled in a fetal position that last year. I didn't want to be around him. I cried tears of guilt for not visiting him.

My mother, Shirley May Berry Currie, died in 1993. This was the first time I experienced the deep and sorrowful death of someone I loved dearly. A brain aneurysm had put her in ICU for 4 months. I couldn't believe my mother was gone. I cried for months for the loss of my mother, the one who nursed me as an infant, who cared for me and loved me. I missed not being able to call her for a recipe or tell her about the bird I just saw on the bird feeder. I missed touch her.

Katherine Irene Shirley Davis, our "Katie" was still born December 28, 1996. Her life had been in my womb. She never knew the sorrows and heartaches of this world.

My father, Joe Monroe Currie, Sr. died November 10, 2006. I haven't shed a tear, not one tear for my father. He was a great father, dependable, open minded, thoughtful, and yet stoic. When you read about Zeno of Citium, the Greek philosopher, you learn that his belief was that a wise man is free from passion and indifferent to grief or joy. Daddy's middle name should have been "austere". I loved him and honored him by being his caregiver until his death. He and I were complete opposites that is until his death. It was then that I was stoic about his death.

Six months following Daddy's death Brent died on May 05, 2007. You can read my other post about my loss of Brent.

Today I was thinking of all of them, remembering what each one had meant to me. What happens after you die? My faith says you will go to heaven or hell. But, what happens to those who are left behind? What will they remember about you? You were a great parent but not a wonderful mother or father. Are your loved ones left wondering how they are going to go on with life without you? Are there unresolved issues that your family will wonder about? Did you leave a godly heritage for your children? Has your family been taken care of financially?

The loved ones you leave behind will go on with their lives, make decisions for themselves, find jobs, and marry again. What is left? There will be memories of good and bad times, some papers and photos and a few personal items they have decided to keep.

Live each day as if it were your last, tell your loved ones how much you love them and how important they are to you. When you wake in the morning thank the Lord for His lovingkindness in giving you another day to be with them. Make memories that will last them the rest of their lives.

Red-bellied Woodpecker Melanerpes carolinus

On Mother's Day this year I treated myself to some birdwatching items that included bird feeders, black oil sunflower seeds and thistle seeds. It was nearly a week before the birds started coming to the feeder. What a treat is was to see them come. My first visitors were Titmouse and Chickadee.

This photo of a Red-bellied Woodpecker was taken on Wednesday, June 11, 2008. The video is of a fledging Red-bellied Woodpecker. I have seen the parents feeding the fledging. What a treat to see this happening.

You can visit http://www.enature.com/fieldguides to learn more.

Green Treefrog Hyla cinerea

Friday, June 13, 2008 I had a tree frog visit our patio window. I was able to take several photos of him and listen to him croak. He visited for nearly an hour. He kept me company while I was unloading the dishwasher.

I enjoy these moments of nature. They are small treasures that always give me pleasure. I hope you'll have one visit you.

Click on the blog post title: Green Treefrog to learn more about this little tree frog.

What's For Dinner?

After watching cooking shows all day, Abigail was ready to have dinner. She wanted to make some crackers. I couldn't find the recipe I had in mind so we settled on Cheese Straws. Instead of making straws I had her roll them out very thin and cut into squares. They were delicious. We decided to share in the preparation of dinner. Abigail made the meatloaf and vinaigrette for the salad. I made the spinach salad and the candied carrots.

Abigail wanted to make the vinaigrette and use the herbs from our patio garden. She chose sage, parsley and rosemary. She added extra virgin olive oil, balsamic vinegar, a pinch of sugar and blended it in the blender. It was a nice flavor over the spinach, red onion, red bell pepper, tomatoe, Swiss cheese, cheddar cheese and Parmesan cheese. Those cheese straw crackers were really good with the salad.

The meatloaf was served with cream of mushroom soup. It was a great meal.

Cooking

Abigail and I watched the Food Network's, "The Next Food Network Star" marathon today. The contestants have been tested not only on their ability to prepare and cook food, but also on their knowledge of food, presentation, marketing skills, ability to cook anywhere and to show why they should be the next Food Network Star. Gosh, I couldn't make it as a Food Network Star! To much pressure for me. For years I've been the star of my own cooking show, "Momma's Home Cooking at Home". Like most of you I am my family's favorite cook.

I started cooking when I was eleven. My mother taught me to make homemade pie crust, to use fresh apples from the tree, and mace was the spice my mother used in her apple pies. By the time I was thirteen I had made Thanksgiving Dinner with all the homemade pies, cakes, ham and turkey with dressing and side dishes. I met Brent and started cooking for him. He liked all kinds of foods and would always ask me, "Can you make ______? Is it hard to make?" Cooking is not hard, some things just take a little more time to prepare. I enjoyed cooking for him. He appreciated my cooking and would certainly let me know if it wasn't my best.

He loved biscuits and I tried all our married life to get that RIGHT biscuit. I never could. Oh, they were pretty good and I never had to throw them out. Of all the biscuits I've ever eaten I will say the blue ribbon winner of biscuit making is my friend, Trina Pearl. Her biscuits are light and flaky and so yummy.

For many years Brent hunted and fished. I've cooked squirrel, coon, dove, deer and elk ( a gift from a neighbor) and different fresh water fish. We went the whole foods route where I made whole wheat bread from wheat berries that I would grind with my mill. We bought organic foods, had our own vegetable garden, raised rabbits for meat, chickens for eggs and goats for milk. We tried all kinds of diets. The Atkins diet, Whole Wheat Bread and Potato diet, Mediterranean diet, Low fat diets, Suzanne Somers and many more.

Food was always an experience in the Davis household. Even when Brent was in the hospital receiving chemo and radiation treatments he was thinking about food. Chemo takes over a person's whole body. While destroying the cancer in our bodies the mind becomes confused, slow to remember the simplest things and destroys our sense of smell and taste. Brent was repulsed by the smell of styrofoam cups, straws, hand washing soap, hand sanitizer, and body lotions and perfume. Most days simple things were usually a hostile encounter for Brent leaving him to reject sources of nutrition.

It is common for patients who are going through chemo to be deeply entertained by cooking shows. They long for they can't have and so they watch TV and read about food. Brent couldn't get enough of cooking shows. He talked about all of the foods he would cook when we got back home. Of the four months we were in Baltimore at Johns Hopkins Hospital he was at the apartment for a total of about 3 weeks. One afternoon he was watching one of Paula Deen's cooking shows. She was making salmon patties and had used saltine crackers to roll the patties in before frying. He asked me to make him some just like the ones Paula made. They really hit the spot for him. The week he was at the apartment I made them three different times.

I never would have thought that my interest in cooking would have changed with Brent's death. I've found my enthusiasm for cooking has left me. Breakfast and lunch are individual choices for all of us. Occasionally I will make a big breakfast for Samuel's enjoyment. Abigail enjoys non-breakfast foods in the morning. Dinner is always a hot meal made from scratch. Abigail has become interested in cooking and will very often prepare dinner.

Subscribing To My Blog

I added a new feature to my blog. In the right hand column you can see "Subscribe To" my blog. Click and make your choice. It is linked to Google, Bloglines, Netvibes, Newsgator, Yahoo and Atom.

If you enjoy reading my blog and get tired of coming back and seeing there is no new post, this might be thing for you. I'm always coming up with ideas for my blog, but never seem to get around to writing what's on my mind.

Metal Detecting

In the late 1800's scientist and engineers were using their knowledge of electrical theory to invent a machine that would pinpoint metal. In 1937 Gerhard Fisher was granted a patent for a metal detector. In the early years of World War II a Polish officer, Lt. Josef Stanislaw Kosacki, refined Fisher's design for practical use. After WW II there was a surplus of detectors on the market which were being bought by relic hunters. Thus began metal detecting as a hobby.

Friday, June 27, 2008 was an exciting day in my front yard. My cousin Becki's husband, Tom, likes to metal detect. Since their first visit last year he has wanted to come back and metal detect. My parents bought the property in 1943 before metal detectors were available for the general public. Knowing that this property was virgin territory was very exciting for Tom. Abigail and I were both very interested in learning what it was all about.

Friday morning while I was visiting my hospice patient, Tom was in my front yard with his White's 6000 metal detector. The detector beeped indicating there was something between a penny and an aluminum pop top. He begin to dig the spot not knowing what he would find. He brushed off the dirt and realized he had a button. He brought it into the house to get a better look. He could see the eagle on the front, the letter "I" in the center. It was a Union Civil War button! I was thrilled. I'm ready to research this property to find out more about the people who lived here years ago.


My sister Grace told me that one of her former neighbors had told her there used to be a fort here. I called the neighbor to hear the story from him. Fort Harris was an encampment just down the road. When he comes to visit at Thanksgiving he will show me where it used to be, including the confederate graves.

The back of the button (image below from the web) had lettering on it. We looked around on the web and found who the maker of the button was. You can visit the following site to see the description:
http://www.relicman.com/backHorstmannA.htm, look for HorstmannA10 var (21mm) about half way down the page.

History

What is history to you? Is it the exciting adventure of people who lived before you? Was it a text book you had to read in high school? Is it dreary, uninteresting facts that mean nothing to you? History is fascinating to me in all forms. I enjoy reading history books, researching my own family history, visiting living history sites and museums.




















I was introduced this week to a couple of new and interesting ways of learning history. My cousin, Becki Redwine Buchmann and her husband, Tom, came for a visit. They're on their way to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania where they will participate as reenactors at the Battle of Gettysburg which originally took place on July 1-3, 1863. Becki showed my sister, Grace, and I the clothes that she and Tom wear when reenacting. She explained how she made some of their clothes and why they were made that way. The dress above is one of her favorites. She took the bodice to the dry cleaners to have it cleaned before she was to make a TV appearance. When she went to pick it up she was horrified to find that it turned a faded green color. What was she going to do? One of her reenactor friends ask her how many yards she had in the skirt. There were 8 yards of material in the skirt. She was able to take 2 yards of material out of the skirt and use for the bodice. The inside of the garment has been beautifully finished.
In the second photo you can the antique beads she added to the bodice. Although the dress is cotton it is quite heavy. The third photo shows the gauging on the skirt. She showed this technique to Abigail who has already made two dresses for her Barbie doll. Something else that the dresses in her collection have in common is the binding on the hem. Because the dresses are long and touch the ground the binding prevents the hem from becoming frayed. When the binding does become worn the skirt is taken apart and turned upside down. The hem now becomes the waist and the waist becomes the hem with new binding. Grace asked her about washing the clothes. They are not washed to often. They are spot cleaned. I wondered about body odor. Many of these reenactments are done in the summer in high temperatures. Becki wears full cotton under garments which keeps the body odor and body oils away from the clothes. The clothes that Becki sews or buys have been made using sewing techniques from the 1860's period. She and Tom have 12 years of experience as reenactors and she was able to answer ours questions with ease.

Thursday night, June 05, 2008 Mike and Anna were hard at work decorating the church and the reception hall. They found a lovely old church in town to have their wedding. Anna had spent the past two years buying things on sale to use as decorations for the wedding. It all paid off. The decorations were simple and lovely. The above video clip shows the inside of the church. The music in the background is from Samuel's CD.

Anna and Mike's Wedding, June 07, 2008

Can't Sleep

I'm wide awake and it's 4:10 am. I got all snug in the bed and laid there for an hour and a half with my eyes closed and it didn't work. I went to the kitchen and made myself some Raisin Bread toast and drank some milk. This is not the time for me to be wide awake. I go to see my hospice patient in a few hours. I need to be bright eyed and bushy tailed! I have errands to run later in the day. My oldest daughter, Anna, is getting married Saturday and there are a lot of things to do. I'm listening to my Thunderstorm CD hoping it will relax me and help me to fall asleep.

Being awake at this hour is not uncommon. I think it has something to do with menopause. My sister is also having this same problem. She's a very routine person but she's finding herself waking in the early hours not being able to sleep either. Our mother had the same problem. She would go to the living room and watch a little TV, sew or read a book.

Brent always called me a hoot owl. Many were the times he would call for me to come to bed. He told me he couldn't sleep until I came to bed. Sometimes I would lie there waiting for him to start snoring then get out of bed and quietly go to the living room and busy myself with something.

MySpace, Facebook, Blogs and CarePages

Facebook.com
I had a friend send me an invitation to Facebook. I accepted and thought I wouldn't use it much. Oh, I'm having a great time with it. It is a mindless way to occupy your time and yet keep in touch with friends and relatives who live far and wide. For you older folks (of course, this includes me) it is a great way to relate to your children, nieces and nephews, and young adult friends. Great for cousins who might live far apart. Facebook allows you to load as many photos as you would like. My favorite application on Facebook has turned out to be "Pieces of Flair". You can select from hundreds of buttons with sayings, photos, cartoons, Bible verses and so many more. You send them to your friends and they can post them to their bulletin board. I admit with embarrassment that I spent a good deal of time yesterday making my own "Pieces of Flair". My favorite flair was the one I made from a photo of Brent. I sent it to my friends who knew him. I also made one from a photo of a panda that I took at the zoo. You can list flairs in the directory for everyone to use or in the case of the photo flair of Brent I kept that one to myself and can send it to the people I choose. To my surprise I've had 16 people choose my panda to send to their friends. Guess what? It feels good that the flair I created was chosen by someone else.

MySpace.com
My oldest daughter, Anna, has had a MySpace page for a long time. She decided to set one up for Brent before he went to Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, MD. She said it would be a great way to let people know about his leukemia and what was going on with him. I just couldn't get into it. Well, after spending all this time with Facebook, Anna tells me MySpace is just as good as Facebook. Okay, so now I'm spending this evening setting up a MySpace account. I'll see how I like it.

Blogs
The diarist in me loves to write on my blog. I enjoy writing life stories/moments and sharing them with others hoping they will be encouraged. My friend Liz is an avid blogger. She rarely misses putting something on her blog on a daily basis. I freeze when I begin thinking about writing on my blog. I begin thinking about how long it will take me to write my thoughts, or I think "Nobody wants to read about so and so or this and that." Liz will send me ideas, or tell me to just post a photo or a joke. I feel guilty, as all diarist, when I don't write something everyday. I'm a big procrastinator and it is easy to find an excuse. I'm not even moved by the fact that my visitor counter hasn't moved for several days. But, my blog is here for me whenever I need it.

Grandma and Grandpa set up a blog for your grandchildren, nieces and nephews. Write family stories and add photos.

CarePages.com
What a blessing CarePages was for me. The spouse of a patient at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, MD told me about the CarePages. They are free pages where you can share updates about your loved ones illness or hospital stay. You can post up to the minutes updates and photos to hundreds of friends and family. Your friends can send you messages of encouragement and let you know they are praying for you and your loved one. CarePages was my lifeline to friends and family back home. In the evening when I came back home to the apartment I could write an update about Brent and send photos. It helped me to keep my thoughts together and keep me sane for the 4 months we were there.

It may be hard for the older generation to relate to these electronic ways of communicating, but it is certainly something that young people embrace. RSVP's, long hand written letters, and thank you notes are all but gone. The days of spending my summers writing 15 page letters, to pen pals and classmates who had moved away, are long gone.

The above web sites are great ways to keep in contact with family and friends who are near or far away. They all provide you with the option of only sharing your page with "friends only". I hope you'll try one.