Loss of Loved Ones

Sunday I went to the viewing for the son of one of my bluegrassin' friends. I've been to several funerals and viewings since Brent's death. On the drive from home to the funeral I always contemplate the losses I have experienced and how their lives affected mine. Today was harder than most. A young man of only 34, Bobby was a son, brother, husband, and father. My heart is burdened for his wife and two young sons. I wish I could take away their pain and sorrow, but know that only God's grace and the love and support from their family and friends will see them through the tough weeks and months ahead.

Growing up in a Southern Baptist Church funerals were a common occurrence. I attended many funerals. But, it was not until the death of my maternal grandmother, Reba Sally Shirley Berry, that I felt a personal loss. I was only 12 and was at the doctor's office when the call came that she had died. I cried and let out all my tears that day. Twelve years later, in 1978, my maternal grandfather, Woodall O'Kuykendall Berry, died. He had lived with us 10 years and the last year of his life I didn't visit. He didn't know anyone and was curled in a fetal position that last year. I didn't want to be around him. I cried tears of guilt for not visiting him.

My mother, Shirley May Berry Currie, died in 1993. This was the first time I experienced the deep and sorrowful death of someone I loved dearly. A brain aneurysm had put her in ICU for 4 months. I couldn't believe my mother was gone. I cried for months for the loss of my mother, the one who nursed me as an infant, who cared for me and loved me. I missed not being able to call her for a recipe or tell her about the bird I just saw on the bird feeder. I missed touch her.

Katherine Irene Shirley Davis, our "Katie" was still born December 28, 1996. Her life had been in my womb. She never knew the sorrows and heartaches of this world.

My father, Joe Monroe Currie, Sr. died November 10, 2006. I haven't shed a tear, not one tear for my father. He was a great father, dependable, open minded, thoughtful, and yet stoic. When you read about Zeno of Citium, the Greek philosopher, you learn that his belief was that a wise man is free from passion and indifferent to grief or joy. Daddy's middle name should have been "austere". I loved him and honored him by being his caregiver until his death. He and I were complete opposites that is until his death. It was then that I was stoic about his death.

Six months following Daddy's death Brent died on May 05, 2007. You can read my other post about my loss of Brent.

Today I was thinking of all of them, remembering what each one had meant to me. What happens after you die? My faith says you will go to heaven or hell. But, what happens to those who are left behind? What will they remember about you? You were a great parent but not a wonderful mother or father. Are your loved ones left wondering how they are going to go on with life without you? Are there unresolved issues that your family will wonder about? Did you leave a godly heritage for your children? Has your family been taken care of financially?

The loved ones you leave behind will go on with their lives, make decisions for themselves, find jobs, and marry again. What is left? There will be memories of good and bad times, some papers and photos and a few personal items they have decided to keep.

Live each day as if it were your last, tell your loved ones how much you love them and how important they are to you. When you wake in the morning thank the Lord for His lovingkindness in giving you another day to be with them. Make memories that will last them the rest of their lives.