Friday, May 04, 2007

The following is from my daily journal that I kept while Brent was at Johns Hopkins Hospital.

It's 2:30 pm Friday afternoon. There is a Bible verse that comes to my mind. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

The facts are that Brent has been in Baltimore, Maryland for 116 days. I've been here 114 days. Samuel and Abigail have been here 97 days. Brent has been in this hospital room for this hospitalization for 50 days. He has been in the bed unable to get out and stand on his own two feet for 35 days. It has been 42 days since his bone marrow transplant.

I'm sitting here watching Nurse Rick care for Brent. So much has happened in the last 28 hours. It will take awhile to write it all, but I will get all my thoughts down.

So many have called in the last 24 hours. I have called so many. Some of those who have called are Dianna, Royal, Sharon, Grace, Ramona, Anna, Granny (Brent's mother), Matt and Todd. There are many more I just can't remember them all.

8:25 pm, I'm in the room with Brent. I left around 5:30 pm and came back about 7:30 pm. He's resting. Jeannie and Matt called. Nurse John will be here in a little bit to give him some medicine to help him sleep.

Today at one point he wanted to get up and go home. He has said that every once in awhile during his hospital stay.

8:35 pm, Nurse John gave Brent some Adavan to help him rest. He has been moaning and groaning some. He did grimace some too. He's not in pain, just uncomfortable.

Daneen just came in. Her parents want to visit with Brent. They'll come in about 20 minutes.

8:40 pm, Nurse John came in and set up a morphine drip. Brent will get a smidgen of morphine through an IV.

8:45 pm, It's very sad that Brent must leave this world and yet I should be happy that he will be going home to Jesus. Brent will be singing praises to Jesus everyday. There has been such and out pouring of love and support from all of our friends. It would have been wonderful for Brent to die at home or at least in Tennessee.

Brent and I talked over the years about which one of us would die first. It would be hard for both of us but, Brent would always say, "I just couldn't go on without you. I wouldn't know what to do." On the other hand I could see a life after his death. Oh, I will miss him. I hope I will make him proud about the decisions I make down the road. I've always said i would NOT want to marry again. That's up to God if I do, but I'd rather stay single, finish raising Samuel and Abigail, and work on my genealogy.

9:00 pm, Brent's sister Debbie called. She wanted to call back tomorrow. I told her no, talk to him now, don't put it off, say all the things you want to say.

Daneen and Robert and Daneen's parents, Bob and Jan, came in a little after 9 pm. We all gathered around Brent's bed while Bob prayed.